What to do when you feel homesick?

When you feel homesick, are you really sick or is it more a feeling or thought about missing your home, your country, your friends and family? Instead of an actual disease, is it more a feeling of sadness?

Homesickness is very common for a lot of travellers and people who live abroad long term. And it is definitely not something to be ashamed of! However not many people talk about it. If you are feeling homesick and are not sure what to do or feel ashamed to talk about it with someone, then keep on reading. In this blog post I want to give you more insights about what it means to feel homesick and what you can do to feel better.

When you feel homesick you feel uncomfortable with where you are at the present moment.

When you feel homesick, you usually feel depressed, anxious or sad and somehow you feel disconnected from your surroundings. There is nothing else you can focus on than home, even if home is not an ideal place. You just feel uncomfortable with where you are at this moment. In this article is explained well what happens with your mind and body when you feel homesick.

This doesn’t mean that you should start panicking about actually having to go home right away, even though you feel like your heart hurts. Because homesickness is often seen as a transition stage. Especially when you have moved to a foreign country and need to settle and find your way in an unfamiliar environment. This means that once you get through these feelings, you can actually start enjoying your new home!

However feeling homesick can also occur when you have been abroad for a while.

Perhaps in the beginning you felt totally fine because you were so busy adapting to your new environment and finding your way that you didn’t even think about home that much. After a while those feelings can come creeping in as well.

Especially during the current situation we are in at this moment in the world, more people start to feel homesick.

Which is completely normal and understandable. Feelings of anxiety tend to show up when we feel uncertain about our future or the present moment. It is in our human nature that we try to control as much as we can. Although of course if you really think about it, you cannot really control anything. These feelings of homesickness and anxiety becoming even stronger when you are far from home, living or travelling abroad, and unsure when you are able to travel to your family and friends at home again.

When I moved to Australia in 2018 I never really felt homesick until the Covid-19 situation started to become worse and all the borders closed. Before the closure I always felt connected with my family and friends in the Netherlands since, even though I lived far away, I knew that I was still just a flight (in this case a 24-28 hour journey) away. However, after the borders closed for a while, I often had a strange feeling which is hard to explain. Thinking about not knowing when I would be able to visit them again and if the borders would even open again soon. I know that many expats, international students, digital nomads and any other type of long term travelers feel the same way at one or more moments during their time abroad.

Sometimes when you feel homesick it can become so extreme that it may be the best decision to actually go home, if possible. But there are some things that you can try first, before you decide to make plans to leave. Take some time to read the points below and hopefully they will make you feel better in this present moment.

What to do when you feel homesick?

Share how you feel with someone you trust

First of all, stop feeling ashamed that you feel homesick. Because it is really nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you feel like you have to pretend that you are strong because your family and friends at home think you are very courageous by moving to another country or travelling the world. But you know what is courage? Being vulnerable and showing how you feel and not being afraid to talk about it. Pretending you are having the best time of your life, while you actually feel miserable doesn’t make sense and makes you even feel more disconnected with yourself. After all, if you want to get rid of this unpleasant feeling it all starts with connection with yourself first. Be honest to yourself about how you are feeling.

If you are afraid or feel ashamed to talk about feeling homesick with anyone, then please try to find someone you trust. Is there someone who you could talk to who will understand you? Not everyone you are close to may understand you if they have not been travelling or living abroad. But even if they don’t know what you are going through because they have never experienced that themselves, they can still listen to you and support you as your friend.

You can also get support from a coach. If you are interested to schedule a free Discovery call with me, you can always contact me or book a call directly on my website. I have helped many clients overcome these feelings of homesickness so that they could feel at home again wherever they are and did not feel that they had to give up and go “home”.

By sharing how you feel with someone and being vulnerable, you don’t have to carry this weight with you anymore. Unpack yourself from it! You will feel better and lighter.

Besides this, I have written down some other points that may inspire you. Remember that it is a personal process in which you will need to discover what works best for you.

Remember why you left

Remember why you left in the first place. When you planned this new journey, you had clear goals and dreams. You were excited about moving to another country or traveling to a new place. Think about the special reasons which made you decide to leave home. Tune into that moment. Even though the current situation may have changed and is not comparable anymore to when you started your journey, try to go back to those moments. How did you feel and what were you looking for when you left your home country? What are all the things that you have already achieved so far that have brought you to this moment?

Decorate your new home with some memories from “home”

In addition, it can help to decorate your new home with some things/reminders from your previous home. For example pictures of the people you love. I personally like some jewellery that I always take with me on my travels. Because they have a special meaning and make me feel connected to the person who gave it to me.

If you don’t have a fixed new home but are travelling around, you can still take something with you that gives you a memory of home. It can be something light and small that reminds you of home. Like a photo of your best friend or like I said before, a bracelet that someone gave to you. Every time you wear it, it feels like that person is with you for a little bit.

Look for things that are familiar to you

When you move to another country or are travelling long term, it doesn’t mean that you will have to give up everything that is familiar to you. There are many ideas of things you could do, but let me mention a few options for you here:

You can try to find your local food somewhere in a restaurant or market. Depending where you are it is much easier these days to find international food in many places.

Another option is to keep on celebrating your national public holidays or other cultural traditions that are important to you.

Also, listen to your favorite music. The good thing is that you can take music with you wherever you go and it is a powerful tool to make you feel more connected with yourself.

Lastly, do you have any hobbies that you used to do before you embarked on this journey? Have you perhaps forgotten about something you really like to do and can you bring that back into your daily routine? When we find things that matter to us, it helps us to feel more at home wherever we are.

Focus on new things

When you feel homesick, instead of looking at all the things that you miss, try to focus on all the new things that you could do that would make you feel better. I’m sure there are things to do in the place that you are now that are possibly not available in your home country.

For example, try out a new hobby, make new friends, visit new bars and restaurants etc. If your new home starts to inspire you, it will be easier to stop missing your previous home that much.

Shift your mind to the positive

You have to try to shift your thoughts from focusing on the negative feelings (anxiety, sadness, depression) into focusing on the positive. I know this is easier said than done when you are not feeling great. But since you are reading this, it is something you have been looking for and it is something that you desire. You want to feel better and feel happy.

Practice Gratitude: Look around you – what are the things you like of the place you are at? What are you grateful for in this present moment?

Instead of just thinking about it, it helps to write this down. You can do this on a daily basis and start your day by writing a few things down that you enjoy or that you are grateful for. The power lies in not overthinking this and keeping it as simple as possible for yourself. Free-writing, which is just writing down whatever comes into your mind without hesitation, is a very powerful exercise.

Sometimes writing down what you feel grateful for can feel very heavy. If that is the case for you, just make it simpler by asking yourself: what makes me happy? This question feels much lighter. By writing down all the things that make you happy in your new place and country you will start to appreciate the things around you more.

And you know what? Maybe you should grab a piece of paper right now and start writing. And if you feel like sharing this, I would love to read about it. You can always send me a message or connect with me on my social media.

Be proud of yourself

Be proud of yourself that you have made it this far. You had the courage to move somewhere new or to travel long term to places you have never been before. It is okay and totally normal when you feel homesick. As I said before, don’t feel ashamed about it. Everything around you changes.

Don’t get tricked by all the beautiful, happy Instagram travellers photos. Everyone feels ups and downs. However most people don’t talk about it and that’s why I wanted to write this blog post for you as well. Because I know that there are so many people who struggle with this but are afraid to talk about it.

How do I know? This post is the most popular one on my blog and this topic comes up very often in the coaching sessions I have with my clients.

Change feelings of guilt into Self-Love

Maybe you started feeling homesick because you felt guilty that you left the people you cared about behind and that you are missing out on important events from your family or friends. Remember this: you cannot be everywhere at the same time.

You made a choice for yourself to create your own life. There is no reason to feel guilty about chasing your dreams and working on your goals. It is not selfish to create your own happiness, it is necessary to do this and to put yourself first. You need to take care of yourself. You are responsible for your own life and the choices you make. Like everyone else is responsible for their own happiness.

Prioritize yourself and feel empowered by the choices you make. The happier you are, the more you can give to the people you love. It starts with yourself first.

It is good to realize that the more you travel and meet people everywhere, the more moments you will miss out as well. Maybe you cannot be there in person, but you can send some positive vibes towards the people you are missing. It will make you feel better too. Also, you are gaining other things in your life while you may be missing something else. Focus on the things that you gain and have right now.

Stay connected

Luckily, technology helps a lot these days. You can easily connect with someone you miss and send messages or calls around the world without spending lots of money on telephone bills. It is about finding a balance between staying connected and finding your way in a new place.

You had the courage to take the step to move. Be proud of yourself.

You can feel lonely wherever you are, even at home in your home country surrounded by family and friends. Since it is a state of mind, you can change it. Therefore this is one of my favorite quotes related to this topic: “If you feel lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.”

Once you realize that home is more of a feeling rather than a place, you can feel grounded wherever you are.

What to do when you feel homesick

Let me know if this article inspired you and helped you in your journey. If you have any other tips or experiences that have helped you to overcome feeling homesick, share it in the comments so that we can inspire each other.

Would you like personalized support to overcome homesickness and feel at home wherever you are?

I invite you to schedule a free Discovery call with me in which we can find out where you are at right now, what you would like to change and how we can work together to make that happen.